Archives for September 2021

5 Secrets for Coping with Divorce Stress and Depression

If you are struggling coping with divorce stress or depression, you are not alone.  In fact, a study cited in the Journal of Family Therapy reports that despite the increased frequency of divorce in our society, a divorce event can result in emotional and economic hardship for many and a greatly increased depressive effect.  https://www.jstor.org/stable/352399

This article will suggest a few strategies to help you be successful in managing the changing life circumstances associated with divorce and help you maintain a positive mental and emotional outlook:

  • Take each day at a time.  

During the divorce process, you can experience a sense of uncertainty or fear about the unknown.  You may no be sure what things or going to change or whether you will like your “new normal.”  One strategy for managing these concerns is to focus on the short-term rather than the long term:  making lists, setting daily goals, and keeping your focus on being successful each day will help you stay positive during this transition. 

 

  • Confide in a friend.

 

An interesting 2012 study found that friendships with individuals and couples tend to shift during divorce.  See https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/10502556.2012.682894. 

This study found that friendships with couples tended to distance during divorce and friendships with individuals often strengthened.  The implications of this for you may be that you could benefit from strengthening bonds with friends who will be sympathetic and loyal to you.  You will need someone you trust to vent to and confide in, and a friend who can provide supportive and positive feedback will help keep you mentally strong. 

 

  • Let go of the past, release yourself from guilt. 

 

At the end of a relationship, many are drawn in to examining the beginning of the marriage, considering what “red flags” they may have ignored or what went wrong in the process that led up to the marriage.  While self-reflection can be healing at the right time and the right circumstances, some may caught in a downward spiral of “would have’s” and “should have’s” about a past that cannot be changed.  A helpful technique can be to let go of the past, release yourself from the guilt, and focus on the future rather than dwell on mistakes of the past. 

  •  Take time for self-care. 

For some, self-care is keeping the routine at the gym, for others it’s the solace of comfort food and a good movie.  Regardless of where or how you find solace, it’s important to make time to focus on yourself.  Some people become so concerned about their children or others who might be impacted by the divorce that they neglect to put time and effort into making themselves happy.  

  • Find the right lawyer for you. 

An experienced and compassionate attorney will help make the divorce process easier for you.  Find an attorney who fits your needs.  As a client, you are in the driver’s seat on who to hire and how to guide them to effectively communicate and work for you, so do not be afraid to find a person who fits your needs and to help them know the best way to work for your good. 

Consult with the Law Office of David Knecht

At the Law Office of David Knecht, at 707-451-4502, we have extensive experience in divorce in California.  We can help ease the burden of stress or depression from you by guiding you through the legal process and supporting your goals. 

 

Filed Under: Divorce Lawyer, Divorce Planning

Why Is Estate Planning Important for Unmarried Couples in California

Estate planning is especially important for couples that are not married in the state of California because unless an unmarried couple has certain documents in place, the surviving spouse typically will have no inheritance rights upon the other spouse’s death.  If one spouse becomes incapacitated, the results can also be complicated.  However, with a comprehensive estate plan, an unmarried couple can have everything in place for the future, which will give you security and peace of mind. 

 

  • What is the purpose of a Durable Power of Attorney?

 

  • A durable power of attorney gives your partner authority to handle important aspects of your life if you are unable to do so.  It’s a tool used to delegate financial affairs to a loved one or to appoint their partner as a healthcare proxy to make important life-or-death medical decisions. 

 

  • What are some of the ways a Durable Power of Attorney can be used?

 

  • A Power of Attorney lets you authorize someone to handle a specific task such as making bank deposits, trading stocks, paying your bills, buying or selling property, hiring people to take care of you, filing your tax returns, arranging the distribution of retirement benefits, or signing contract.  Your agent can do almost anything the Power of Attorney permits.  

 

  • What is a letter of instruction?
  • A letter of instruction is not legally required, but it can be a useful tool to assist your significant other in obtaining and distributing your assets upon your passing. 

 

  •  How can a letter of instruction be helpful? 
  • A letter of instruction can be helpful to communicate important information such as: accounts, passwords, location of important documents or keys, contact information of beneficiaries, specific funeral arrangements, etc.  

 

  •  What should unmarried couples consider in estate planning? 
  • Unmarried couples can set up an estate plan to protect each other from the unintended consequences of incapacity or death.  
  • At the Law Office of David Knecht, at 707-451-4502, we have extensive experience in estate planning in California.  We can customize a plan for you and your loved ones.

 

 

Filed Under: Estates

Can I get Spousal Support (Alimony) in California?

One of the top concerns many have when contemplating a divorce is assets and money,  so spousal support is often a very important issue in many California divorces.  This article will explain some of the basic principles relating to spousal support with information taken, in part, from https://www.courts.ca.gov/1038.htm?rdeLocaleAttr=en and https://codes.findlaw.com/ca/family-code/fam-sect-4320.html

  For questions about your specific situation, contact the Law Office of David Knecht,  (707) 451-4502.  

 

  • What is spousal support?

 

  • Spousal support, which is also known as alimony, is the payment from one spouse to the other.  It can be temporary or permanent.  These terms refer to when the support is ordered, not how long it lasts.  Temporary support is ordered while the divorce is pending.  Permanent spousal support is after the divorce judgment.  In California, either spouse may request spousal support. 

 

  • What is the purpose of spousal support?
  • Some people mistakenly believe that the purpose of spousal support is to punish the person who has to pay, but such is not the case in the no-fault state of California.  
  • The purpose of temporary support is to maintain the living standards of both parties until the divorce is final the assets and debts have been determined. 
  • Permanent support is not intended to be forever.  In California, the policy is that both parties become self-supporting within a reasonable amount of time and spousal support bridges the gap until the supported spouse can get the employment or resources to meet their needs. 
  •  What is the presumption for marriages that lasted less than 10 years?
  • For marriages that lasted less than ten years, the duration of support will generally have a time limit.  The presumption is that spousal support/alimony will last for half the length of the marriage. For example, if the marriage was ten years, the spousal support would generally end by five years. 

 

  •  What about long-term marriages? 
  • For long-term marriages, those of more than ten-year duration, the presumption is that the court maintains jurisdiction over spousal support indefinitely.  

 

  •  What factors can be considered by the judge for spousal support? 
  • The judge can consider the totality of the circumstances which may include, but are not limited to the standard of living you had when married, marketable skills, the market for those skills, how much your earning capacity was limited during the marriage, the length of the marriage, childcare, age, health, hardships, etc.  This list could include anything that a judge determines is fair and just.  

Consult with the Law Office of David Knecht

At the Law Office of David Knecht, at 707-451-4502, we have extensive experience in divorce in California.  We can explain the divorce process to you and advocate for the property division, financial support and custody arrangements that would work best for you.  

 

Filed Under: Divorce Lawyer