Your rights with respect to your children will be governed by your own specific custody situation, but this article will discuss some of the general topics relating to relocation that you can discuss with your attorney.

1. Can one parent relocate out of state and take the children?

In general, a parent who has sole custody of the children can move out of state, unless the other parent can show that the children will be harmed.  If the parents have joint physical custody and one parent opposed the other one leaving, the parent who wants to relocate will have to show the court that the move is in the best interest of the children.

2. Can a parent take a vacation or trip out of the state or country with the children?

If the other parent is going to miss their visitation, you will typically need that parent’s permission to travel out of state with your children.  You can also look at your order and see whether it contains restriction on travel.  If so, you will need a special order to modify those terms.

3. Can custody decisions be made in the states of each parent, if they are not in the same state?

 

No, custody decisions are only made in one state.  Here is some general information in what courts look at for determining the right state for the decision:  if the state is the child’s home state (living in the state for the last 6 months), or if the child has significant connections to people in the state, so that it can be proven that the child’s care, personal relationships, etc. are based there, or if the child is at risk of being abused or neglected if sent back to a different state.  (See the Uniform Child Custody Jurisdiction and Enforcement Act for complete information on this topic.)

Taking your child out of state in violation of the order can be serious business, so consult an attorney experienced in family law to get answers on whether you can take a trip or relocate with your family.  David Knecht is an experienced family attorney who can find the answers for you.

 

If you are considering a divorce in California, your separation date is a very important issue.  This article will discuss why that date is significant.

The separation date defines the line between community property and separate property.

• Community property in general is assets, income, or debts earned or acquired during the marriage.
• Separate property in general is property owned before the marriage, property inherited or gifted to one part during the marriage, money from the rent or sale of a separate property, money earned while legally or physically separated from the spouse, and items given from one spouse to the other with the intention of designating it as separate property.

Community property is shared by the spouses, separate property belongs to the individual.

• The separation date is important because the determination of the type of property determines how it is split. Community property is shared by the spouses.  Separate property is for the individual.

How is the date of separation determined by a court?

If the date of separation is unclear or the parties disagree, the court will look at two methods for determining the effective date:

• Objective test: Here the court will determine when you started living apart from each other. However, in some instances the spouses may be living in the same home but be physically separated within the home if the evidence suggests that the spouses unambiguous conduct indicates an intent to be separated.

• Subjective test. Here the court will look at your conduct toward each other. At what point did one or both of you think you were done? When did you decide you no longer wanted to be married?

What should you watch out for?

• The higher earner is typically incentivized to have a date of separation sooner rather than later. It is often in that person’s interest to have an earlier date so that more of the income or assets will be earned after the separation date.

In some cases, the date of separation is agreed upon by the parties, but this article should alert you to concerns and questions that may arise if the date of separation is contested.  Consult with an attorney early in the process of considering a divorce to find out how to navigate the date of separation mostly advantageously to your case.

 

 

 

 

Do you have a teenager?  If so, you’ll want to know what rules are specific to teens when it comes to custody.  This article will focus specifically on teens and outline some of the rules and considerations that will help you create a smoother experience for your teen in coping with divorce and change.

 

• Does my teenager have a say in custody?  Typically, yes.

 

Children of any age can address the court, but as per Family Code 3042, children 14 years of age or older specifically can address the court regarding custody and visitation, unless the court determines that it is not in the child’s best interest.  This means that unless there is a special circumstance, your teenager will get to have a voice in the process if he or she so desires.

 

• Will it matter what my teenager’s preferences are?  Typically, yes.

 

California judges must promote the best interest in the child after considering the factors, which can include the preference of the child.  There is no exact formula as to the weight the child’s preference has in the overall determination. What this means is that your teenager’s choice isn’t necessarily the final answer, but it will likely weigh into the judge’s decision.

 

• How does the court hear the teen’s preferences?

 

The judge has discretion to talk to the child in open court or in chambers. The parents may be present but they may not.  The judge has a wide latitude in determining how to get the information needed, and as always must take into consideration the best interest of each child.

 

• What issues should I think through with my teenager and the divorce?

 

Often teens go through a lot of changes at this time of their lives, so you can probably expect some adjustment challenges that may need to overcome.  Does your teenager have a car that will enable the teen to ignore custody plans? Do you and the other parent have similar rules for curfew, financial support of the teen, etc.?  What will be your strategy if your teen’s preferences for custody change over time? A wise parent will think through the potential issues and challenges that may arise with the teen and talk about those issues before they become big problems.

 

• Can I modify the custody arrangement?  What if my teenagers preferences change?  Yes.

 

Yes, the existing custody order may be modified when there has been a change in circumstances. It may be that the teen’s preference is the change in circumstances, or it may be that other changes are prompting a modification. Again, the court will consider what suits the best interest in the child and will consider all the same factors that were used initially to establish custody. The teen can play a role in voicing opinions for the modification just as the teen’s preferences factored into the original custody determination.

You teenager is going through a lot of changes themselves and in their environment, so a divorce can be an additional stress.  However, your teen is likely also more capable of understanding and processing the divorce process than small children, and the opportunity for your teen to participate in the custody process can be a step in the right direction of helping them navigate the future.

Divorce doesn’t mean your children have to suffer. You can help your children cope with the changes that inevitably come with divorce. This article will focus on what you can do, independently of the other parent, to help your children navigate the divorce and successfully adjust.

• Speak respectfully about the other parent.

Although divorce is often an adversarial process with the ex-spouse, your children will be benefited by your protecting them from the battle. Speak respectfully of the other parent. Try to avoid venting to your children about what the other parent is wrong. This can place the child in an uncomfortable position of feeling forced to take sides.

• Clearly communicate with the other parent and your children.

Clear communication is key to setting expectations. If you are organized, plan things out, and convey meaningful and firm messages then everyone will benefit.  When a parent assumes various schedules, meeting places or other expectations, then the situation is ripe for misunderstandings and inconvenience. Often text or email communication can prevent problems.

• Express love to your children every day.

Your kids are going through a hard time and need you now more than ever.  Remember to tell them every day that you love them. Try to show them through your actions that they are important to you and you care about them. Be supportive. Listen to their concerns and comfort them when they are sad.

• Allow your children to grieve.

For some children, losing the one family unit can feel like a death, and they need time and space to grieve the loss.  Understand that they may go through the grief cycle of denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. Seek to understand the emotions and be supportive.

• Keep calm and put your children first.

There will likely be many instances of anger, annoyance and frustration with your ex-spouse. Find a friend or a counselor to confide in. Remember that you are always setting an example for your children, so be the person that you want them to become.

The changes in your family can be an opportunity to show your children fortitude, sacrifice, leadership, forgiveness, communication and love.  Many parents who achieve the best outcomes for their children during the divorce process do so because they set goals for how to handle the ex-spouse appropriately and they achieve a reliable, safe space for their children to thrive in.  

This article will examine some of questions that are commonly asked about the divorce process in California.  It will help you get a broad overview of the process and understand what to expect.

Do I have to wait 6 months to get divorced in California?

Yes, although the waiting period can be challenging for couples, six months is the minimum and its common for the divorce process to take longer than six months.

Can I remarry during the waiting period?

No, unfortunately you can’t remarry while you are waiting for the divorce to be finalized.

Why is date of separation important?

The separation date is important in determining what property is community property (must be split) and separate property.

Should I sell or mortgage the house while we are separated?

You’ll want to hold off on making major changes to assets or debts during the separation/divorce process.

Does it matter what state we live in?

Yes, in order to file for divorce in California you or your spouse must have lived in California for at least six months.  You also need to have lived in the county for at least three months.

What are some of the important factors for determining temporary child support?

Important factors in determining child support are each parent’s income and the amount of time each parent takes care of the child.  

Do I need to wait to get spousal support?

Spousal support can be granted with an Order to Show Cause early in the divorce process, so you do not need to wait until the divorce process has progressed for temporary spousal support.

What’s the general timeline of important steps in the divorce process?

• The first step is a Petition with the Court and serving the Petition on the other spouse.  This marks the beginning of the waiting period.
• The next step is responding to the Petition and perhaps an order to Show Cause if certain disputes are involved.
• Hearings or mediation can be scheduled to resolve certain issues.
• Dividing property is a step that will happen somewhere along the process. As part of this, discovery and disclosure of assets and obligations will be conducted.
• Settlement Agreements occur where you and your spouse are able to reach an consensus.

While this is not a complete list, it gives an overview of some of the steps in the divorce process and helps you understand important questions relating to your divorce. For answers to specific questions you may have, consult with an attorney who has experience in family law to guide you through the sometimes intricate divorce process.