Archives for February 2024

 Psychological Evaluation in a California Divorce, Part 2

If a divorce involves children, then a court or a parent may request a Child Custody Evaluation, which is also known as a 730 Evaluation. In our previous article, we explain more about the custody evaluation process and the various data collection methods. This article will focus on the psychological testing portion, in particular the commonly used test, the MMPI-2. Today we will identify some of the red flags that the MMPI-2 is seeking to test for, but with the caveat that one of the flags that the test is supposed to identify is honesty in answers. 

Thus, this article gives information on some of the factors that are tested, but for most people, the best practice is to answer all questions as honestly as possible and not try to “beat the test,” since the test is trying to measure for people who are gaming it. This article is a very generalized summary of a complex test, so the information is intended only for general educational purposes and not as a guide on how to take the test. The source for this article can be found here: https://psychtest.net/mmpi-test-result/.  

What is the MMPI-2?

  • MMPI-2 stands for Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Inventory-2. 
  • It is a 500+ questionnaire of true and false questions that individuals answer for themselves, and the responses help mental health professionals evaluate symptoms of mental illness or personality disorders. 

What were the recommendations explained in more detail in the first article?

  • Answer all of the questions, do not be surprised to see health related questions as this test is not used exclusively for divorce cases. Do not try to trick the test by answering all true or all false. Be aware that the test may have the same or similar questions early and later in the test to try to flag people who are answering inconsistently. 

 Psychopathic Deviate Testing. 

  • Some questions are designed to identify people who are impulsive, strive for immediate gratification, are impatient, easily frustrated, have poor judgment, high risk-taking, are self-centered and selfish. The psychopathic deviate has a paradigm of using others for their own purposes.  

 Paranoia. 

  • Some of the questions are designed to flag people who show psychotic behavior, disturbed thinking, delusions of persecution, or ideas of grandeur. They look for people who are impulsive, impatient, have poor judgment and risk taking and who feel mistreated and picked on, angry and resentful, who harbor grudges and use projection as a defense. 

 Other flags to watch for:

  • Anxiety – sleep difficulties, worries, poor concentration.
  • Fears – many specific fears such as blood, germs, high places animals, natural disasters, etc. 
  • Obsessiveness – difficulty making decisions, counting a lot, saving unimportant things, worrying a lot, being overwhelmed easily. 
  • Depression – depressive thoughts, feeling sad, being uninterested and uncertain in the future, being unhappy, crying easily, feeling hopeless and empty. Thoughts of suicide or wishing they were dead. Thinking people have unpardonable sins. 
  • Health concerns – many physical systems across several body systems.
  • Bizarre Mentation – any type of hallucination, feeling plotted against, thinking someone is trying to poison them. Thinking they have special powers or a special mission.
  • Anger – hothead, impatient, grouchy, feeling like being violent. 
  • Cynicism – expecting the worst of others, thinking people are not trustworthy, generally negative attitudes about people.
  • Antisocial practices – behavior problems in the past, trouble with the law, belief that it is ok to break the law. 

Contact an Experienced Divorce Attorney

At the Law Office of David Knecht, we are very familiar with the custody evaluation process and the psychological testing aspect of the 730 Evaluation. We have extensive experience in family law. We can help you feel confident in achieving your goals in a California divorce. Contact us today at 707-451-4502. 

How to Beat the Mind Games Narcissists Play in a California Divorce, Part 2

Does this sound familiar? You thought being married to a narcissist was all mind games, until only to sadly realize that divorce they are worse in a divorce! The process only amps up your ex’s fervor to gaslight you, blame you and play the victim!  In a previous article, we discussed strategies to combat those tactics, and this article is part two of this exploration on how to identify the mind games narcissists play and how to fight back.

Manipulative Bargaining.

  • Narcissists use manipulative tactics such as threats or emotional blackmail to gain advantage in divorce negotiations. 
  • Combat this tactic by consulting with an experienced family attorney before making any decisions relating to finances, custody arrangements or settlement. Your attorney can analyze your specific circumstances to help you assess what is reasonable and what is ridiculous, and the knowledge can be very powerful in helping you avoid being manipulated. 

 Financial Abuse.

  • Narcissists use money as a weapon to exert control and gain power over the other person, which can include hiding assets, depleting joint accounts, or otherwise using money against you. 
  • Combat this tactic with evidence and organization. As soon as possible, and before filing if you are still contemplating a divorce, document everything. Know where every asset is. Screenshot or save evidence of where the money is located and how much is there. Consult your attorney about any specific strategies that may be used to prevent financial abuse in your situation.

  Parental alienation. 

  • This game is one of the hardest to cope with, as the narcist attempts to undermine the relationship between you and your child, perhaps with lies, false accusations, or subtle behaviors to manipulate your children’s perception. 
  • Combat this tactic by focusing only on you are your children, which is very, very difficult. The more you love your children, and give them your time, attention and devotion, the stronger your bond with them will be. Have confidence that will days, months and years, your love and kindness to your children will be recognized and the manipulations of your ex will be revealed to them. 

 Legal bullying and Smear Campaigns.  

  • Narcissists commonly engage in legal bullying with excessive litigation for control and intimidation to harass you, drain your financial and emotional resources, and prolong the divorce. They engage in smear campaigns of false information or rumors to try to get people to turn against you or to gain advantage in the divorce. Their goal is to exhaust you into giving up. 
    • Combat this tactic with an experienced divorce attorney. If you find someone who regularly practices family law, then they will likely have forms and experience to leverage to reduce the cost and help you stay strong and fight back against legal bullying. 

 Boundary violations.

  • Narcissists tend to ignore boundaries by invading your space, accessing your confidential information or attempting to control you in other ways. 
  • Combat this technique with effective planning, deciding ahead of time what your boundaries are, and enforcing them. Protect your personal information with new passwords or other safeguards. Put communications in writing to create a paper trail. You may even need to arrange for third parties to be present as witnesses or protection if you anticipate that an event or an exchange will be highly confrontational.  

Contact an Experienced Divorce Attorney

Dealing with a narcissist is typically challenging, but at the Law Office of David Knecht, we have extensive experience in family and understand the tactics used by narcists to manipulate you and to try to manipulate the legal system. We will help you fight these tactics and successfully navigate the challenges of your California divorce. Contact us today at 707-451-4502. 

 

How to Beat the Mind Games Narcissists Play in a California Divorce

If you married a narcissist, you might think that a divorce would release you from the trap of all the mind games, but your divorce litigation might be the perfect playground for a narcissist to get under your skin. This article will summarize five strategies to successfully navigate the challenges of divorcing a narcissist.

Gaslighting

  • Narcissists often distort the facts and events and distort their own behavior. 
  • Combat this tactic with evidence. Save videos, texts, emails and other hard evidence that corroborate your version of the facts. 

Blameshifting

  • A common tactic used by narcissists is to blame others for their own faults or for things that are beyond anyone’s control. 
  • Combat this tactic by ignoring the noise. The battlegrounds of a divorce are typically children and money, and the ex-spouse’s blame for issues relating to the marriage are largely irrelevant and a tactic to try to get you to react in a way that takes away your peace or logic to fight the important battles. For this reason, an effective way to beat this game is often to tune it out. 

Victimhood. 

  • If you have lived with a narcissist for very long, you are probably used to their victim mentality. They try to get sympathy or support from others by portraying themselves as innocent. 
  • Combat this tactic by being confident in your own self and standing your ground with friends and family. Think through a clear, strong and short message about why you are getting a divorce and how your position is fair and stick with that short and to the point story. Do not allow the narcissist to draw you into a spiral of guilt in your own mind, or a dithering story to others. 

Triangulation. 

  • A narcissist will often try to introduce a third party into the situation to gain support. This could be a family member, friend, religious leader or even one of your children. 
  • Combat this tactic by gently but firmly asking the third party to stay out of the divorce. Effective communication is key to helping others understand why their input is not helpful and can actually be harmful to the resolution of your divorce. 

 Hoovering. 

  • Hoovering is deliberately manipulative behavior intended to pull a person back into a cycle of abuse. This can play out with affirmations of love, excessive flattery (often known as love bombing), and promises to change. 
  • Combat this tactic by becoming whole in yourself so that you do not need the narcissist’s false love. Get therapy, focus on a new hobby, dedicate more time to friends and family, or set goals for exercise. Do whatever helps you become a satisfied and complete person who is not susceptible to fake overtures of affection.

Contact an Experienced Divorce Attorney

At the Law Office of David Knecht, we understand that divorcing a narcissist can be extremely challenging emotionally and complex legally, but we will help you fight these tactics and successfully navigate the challenges of your California divorce. Contact us today at 707-451-4502.