Nicole Kidman recently opened up about something familiar to many people going through divorce: finding happiness during and after divorce when the future she had planned suddenly looked very different. After her marriage to Keith Urban ended after nearly 20 years, Kidman told British Vogue, as reported by The Cut, that she hadn’t expected the divorce and had imagined her life unfolding differently. Her response has been to adapt and move forward with hope, even while acknowledging feelings of fear and vulnerability.
Divorce can be one of life’s most difficult transitions. While a California family law attorney can help you navigate custody, property, support, and other legal issues, finding happiness during and after divorce often involves rebuilding parts of your life that have little to do with the courtroom.
Will You Be Happier After Divorce?
There is no simple answer, but divorce can be the beginning of a happier, healthier chapter.
A Psychology Today discussion of happiness after divorce notes that divorce by itself does not guarantee greater happiness. Some research has found that unhappily married people who divorced were not necessarily happier than those who remained married.
Other research suggests that well-being can improve with time, particularly as people adjust to their changed circumstances.
The divorce process can bring challenges. A 2025 review of research concerning women and divorce discusses potential effects on financial, physical, mental, emotional, and social well-being.
The hopeful part? Divorce is not the end of your story. It can create space for healing, independence, and a life that feels more peaceful and authentic.
Focus on What You Can Control During Divorce
Divorce involves uncertainty. You may not be able to control your former spouse’s behavior or predict exactly what a judge will decide. Constantly focusing on those uncertainties can make an already stressful experience more difficult.
Instead, concentrate your energy on things you can influence:
- Gather and organize important financial documents.
- Learn about your rights before making major decisions.
- Keep communications with your spouse civil when possible.
- Avoid allowing every disagreement to become a legal battle.
- Maintain routines that provide stability for your children.
- Take care of your physical and emotional health.
You may also have opportunities to reduce uncertainty in the divorce itself. California Courts explains that spouses can work toward agreements on divorce issues, including property, support, and issues involving children. When agreement isn’t possible, a judge can decide the disputed issues.
Rebuild Your Life Outside the Divorce
A guide on finding happiness after divorce emphasizes several strategies:
- Give yourself time to grieve and process the loss.
- Focus on what you can control rather than what you cannot change.
- Spend time with supportive people who make you feel understood and valued.
- Develop new interests and activities that bring meaning and enjoyment to your life.
- Take care of yourself and make your physical and emotional well-being a priority.
Don’t Make Your Children Responsible for Your Happiness
For parents, one of the most important parts of moving forward is separating the end of the marriage from the children’s relationship with each parent. Therapists recommend:
- Don’t use your children to carry messages to your ex.
- Don’t ask them to choose sides.
- Avoid criticizing their other parent in front of them.
- Give them permission to enjoy time with both parents.
- Keep their schedules and routines as predictable as possible.
Creating stability for your children may also create more stability in your own life.
Give Yourself Time to Adjust
California divorce is not instantaneous. The California Courts explains that a California divorce takes at least six months to finalize. Complicated cases can take considerably longer.
Emotional recovery doesn’t necessarily follow the court’s timeline. Finding happiness during and after divorce doesn’t mean pretending the experience isn’t painful. It means recognizing that the end of a marriage does not have to define everything that comes afterward.
Get Help With the Legal Side of Moving Forward
One way to reduce some of the uncertainty surrounding divorce is to understand your legal rights and options. The Law Office of David Knecht represents clients in divorce, child custody, support, and other California family law matters throughout Vacaville, Fairfield, Solano County, and surrounding areas.
If you are considering divorce or are already going through the process, call (707) 451-4502 to discuss your situation and the legal steps that can help you move forward.
