Abraham Lincoln’s famously advised: “A good settlement is better than a good lawsuit.”
If you are anticipating divorce mediation, you are likely in agreement with Abraham Lincoln and want a good settlement, but you may be wondering how to make it effective and successful. This article will explore tips for a successful California divorce mediation with ideas summarized from an article published at ADRTimes.com.
Build a deal, not a battle.
- In a fight, the goal is to win. In a mediation, the goal is resolution.
- Your focus in mediation is to find solutions that benefit both parties.
- Try to see the other party’s point of view to open your mind to options that are good for everyone.
Focus on interests.
- An interest is a “want,” and a “position” is one way to satisfy a want.
- Focus on an interest, not a position.
- For example, both parties will likely have an interest in substantial and meaningful time with the children, but a position might be something like a specific parent time plan.
- Thinking outside the box of a specific plan with the goal of promoting the position of both parents needing time with their children will help everyone think outside the box and perhaps find a creative solution.
Be a patient problem solver.
- Many of the best ideas come later in the process.
- Initially, brainstorming as a problem solver where no idea is rejected or criticized is a way to build toward better ideas.
- After many options have been identified, then the parties can evaluate them.
Work past the anger.
- At some point in the process, you will realize that you will not be getting everything you want and so will the other party.
- This is normal. A compromise is by its very nature not a win on all fronts.
- Some parties when their anger or frustration begins to rise want to cancel the mediation, but when both parties have reached this stage, it is often a sign that a compromise is close.
Be patient.
- Mediation involves change.
- It takes time for each side to understand or respect the interest of the other party.
- Often one or both parties come into the mediation with unrealistic expectations.
- Be patient to allow time for these changes to occur.
- Be willing to end the mediation without a final resolution but with an agreement to think through some of the ideas and work toward solutions in the future.
Contact an Experienced California Divorce Attorney
You need an attorney to represent you who is confident in the mediation side of the divorce process as well as the litigation side so that you can reap the maximum benefit from every aspect of a divorce that is successful for you and your children. At the Law Office of David Knecht, we have extensive with divorce litigation and divorce mediation and we take pride in representing our clients with experience. We understand that divorce can be very challenging, and we are eager to help you feel confident as you navigate this difficult change in your life. Please contact us at 707-451-4502.
