This article follows our previous introduction to mediation. This is part 2, which will provide information on how to prepare for mediation in a divorce case, with information derived from the California Court website.
Choosing the mediator
- Selecting the mediator is an important decision in preparing for a successful mediation, and the right mediator is a very personal decision.
- For some parties, an excellent mediator might be a former judge to provide experience and information on legal issues.
- For other parties, an excellent mediator might be one with the right temperament to fit the parties. Some mediators are more sensitive and collaborative and others tend to be more formal and commanding.
- The differences in mediators are as numerous as the differences in attorneys, judges and experts, so no two are alike, and you want to find one that you believe best fits your personality and the opposing party.
Understanding the process
- Mediation can take different forms. In some cases, the mediator meets with each party separately. In other instances, the mediator might lead a discussion of both parties and counsel. In some instances attorneys will be present an in other instances, unrepresented parties seek to use the mediator without retaining and attorney.
- Find out ahead the time constraints of the parties and the mediator, so that you can properly pace yourself during the process.
Ask yourself difficult and probing questions prior to the mediation
- Seek to see the strengths and weaknesses of your own case. Be realistic in assessing your position.
- Try to understand. Strive to analyze the arguments of the other party and contemplate how to address them. Are there solutions you can think of where all parties win?
- Learn from the past but focus on the future. You cannot change the past, but you can learn from it. What do you know about your former spouse that will influence your decisions? How can you predict their behavior to foresee problems and challenges that may arise and how can those be addressed ahead of time in the mediation process?
- Let go of emotion. This is one of the most difficult steps of mediation. A court case can never resolve the anger and hurt that is involved in most divorces, so expecting vindication is a barrier to an effective settlement. To the extent that you can view the case logically and impartially, this will help you understand and accept a result that may be in your best interest.
CONSULT THE LAW OFFICE OF DAVID KNECHT
Mediation can be an emotional and challenging process, but it is an extremely important step in the divorce process where the right attorney can add tremendous value. At the Law Office of David Knecht, we have years of experience with divorce and specifically with divorce mediation. Call us today at 707-451-4502.
