How Should I Tell My School Aged Children About Divorce?

One of the most important and challenging conversations a parent can have with their children is telling them about a divorce. It’s a discussion that will likely always be remembered, so handling this topic is of utmost importance. This article summarizes content from divorcemag.com and provides a checklist for parents to guide them in breaking the news to their children in a positive way. The full article can be found here

Affirmation. 

  • Begin by affirming your love for the children and assuring them that you will always be their parent. Tell them that you will always be there for them, but there will be some changes in the family. 

Acknowledge Problems but Don’t Detail Them.

  • Acknowledge that there were problems in the marriage and that you tried to fix them, but do not go into detail about what you think your spouse did wrong. Those are adult issues and too complex and heavy or children, and also you do not want to place your children in a situation where they feel they have to take sides. Be clear with the children that they were in no way at fault and consider apologizing to them for impacting their lives with this new change. 

Consider Your Words. 

  • Consider your children and carefully choose your words. For example, the word “divorce” can be extremely triggering to some children, so you may want to start by calling it a separation. For other children, they may want or need a more direct explanation from you. Make a decision ahead of the conversation about the words you will use. 

Convey Security and Confidence. 

  • Your children need to know that both you and then will be ok. Avoid expressing insecurity about what will happen or how you will get by financially. Try to express confidence and security to your children so that they will feel safe to weather the changes. If one parent is moving out, it is helpful if they already have those arrangements in place so that they can tell the children where they will be and confirm to them that they will still be available and accessible. 

Have the Conversation Together with Your CoParent. 

  • Although emotions may be running high with your coparent, it is often beneficial to work jointly to deliver the message to the children. This can provide confidence to the children that both parents love them and will work together. Emphasize that you will both try to do your best to make the changes as easy on the children as possible. 

Contact an Experienced Family Lawyer

Even if you are just contemplating a divorce, but not certain that you want to go forward, contacting an experienced divorce attorney can be helpful. You can make a plan and know your options. At the Law Office of David Knecht, we have extensive experience helping clients with a California divorce, and we are happy to answer your family law questions. Contact us at 707-451-4502. 



3 Myths and Misconceptions about Postnuptial Agreements in California

If you are planning to get married, you may be getting advice from family or friends encouraging you to get a “prenup.” A prenuptial agreement is contract entered into prior to marriage that often contains provisions for property and debt division in the event of a divorce. This article addresses some of the common myths and misconceptions regarding prenup agreements.  

  A prenup dooms your marriage. 

  • Asking your loved one to sign a prenup is not very romantic, but often marriage involves challenges where thoughtful planning and communication can trump the romance and assumptions that come in the courtship stage, which is why loving relatives and friends urge couples to keep the romance alive later in the marriage by tackling tough topics before conflicts arise. 
  • Asking for a prenup is not bucking a trend, but rather following it. As reported on mediate.com, 44% of singles think a prenup is a good idea and 15% of divorcing couples wish they had signed a prenup. 

Prenups are expensive to get or are just for rich people

  • Truth is, not matter how much or little money you have, everyone at some level cares about money because it is the way we survive. 
  • You may have student loans or credit card debts or may plan to incur those during the marriage. 
  • You may inherit money during the marriage. 
  • You may want a safety net against your future spouse’s unhealthy behaviors (money toward addictions, uncontrolled spending, etc. )

Prenups are unfair 

  • The most widely publicized prenup cases are often those that are unfair to one spouse, but the norm is to create a balanced and fair agreement that effectuates the goals of both spouses. 
  • Both parties should be represented each by their own lawyer to ensure fairness in the prenup process. 

Contact an Experienced Family Lawyer

Many couples want a simple prenup that doesn’t break the bank and others want a complex contract that deals with significant assets and future income. Regardless of where you fall on the spectrum of cost and complexity, here at the Law Office of David Knecht, we have extensive experience in prenuptial agreements in California and can help you successfully prepare a contract within your budget that meets your goals. Contact us at 707-451-4502. 

 

How Can Prenuptial and Postnuptial Agreements Strengthen Marriages?

Many people are reluctant to broach the topic of a prenuptial or postnuptial agreement to their fiancée or spouse with the concern that it may be seen as a hostile or distrusting gesture, but in an article published at Forbes.com, the author (who is a wealth advisor and divorced parent herself) asserts that these types of agreements can actually strengthen marriage and can avoid disastrous consequences in divorce

Why talk about prenuptial agreements and postnuptial agreements before things go sour?

  • Life is unpredictable and marriage is difficult
  • Talking about challenging topics while the marriage is still good is better than waiting until the typically adversarial construct of a divorce
  • Money and communication are the two top reasons why people get divorced,

What is a prenup or postnup and why do you need one?

  • A prenup is a contract entered prior to marriage
  • A postnuptial agreement is similar to a prenup except that it is executed after a couple is already married. 
  • It commonly addresses spousal support and provisions of assets in a divorce
  • It’s not just for the rich and famous. Everyone has something worth protecting.
  • It can address property, debt, future inheritances and earnings. 
  • Information or documents that show assets and debts.

What are topics to consider in a prenup/postnup?

  • Division of assets and debts
  • Amount and duration of maintenance/alimony upon divorce
  • Ownership and use of property 
  • Trusts or wills

Can a prenup or postnup determine child custody or support?

  • No, parental responsibilities and child support are based on the best interest of the children, so they cannot be negotiated in advance of a marriage or divorce.

Contact an Experienced Family Lawyer

An experienced family lawyer can help you with a prenuptial or postnuptial agreement that can save time and anxiety in the future. At the Law Office of David Knecht we have extensive experience with family law in California and can help you successfully prepare these agreements. We look forward to assisting you.  Contact us at 707-451-4502. 

 

Preparation for Mediation in a Divorce Case

This article follows our previous introduction to mediation. This is part 2, which will provide information on how to prepare for mediation in a divorce case, with information derived from the California Court website.

 

Choosing the mediator

  • Selecting the mediator is an important decision in preparing for a successful mediation, and the right mediator is a very personal decision.
  • For some parties, an excellent mediator might be a former judge to provide experience and information on legal issues. 
  • For other parties, an excellent mediator might be one with the right temperament to fit the parties. Some mediators are more sensitive and collaborative and others tend to be more formal and commanding. 
  • The differences in mediators are as numerous as the differences in attorneys, judges and experts, so no two are alike, and you want to find one that you believe best fits your personality and the opposing party.

 

Understanding the process

  • Mediation can take different forms. In some cases, the mediator meets with each party separately. In other instances, the mediator might lead a discussion of both parties and counsel. In some instances attorneys will be present an in other instances, unrepresented parties seek to use the mediator without retaining and attorney. 

 

  • Find out ahead the time constraints of the parties and the mediator, so that you can properly pace yourself during the process. 

Ask yourself difficult and probing questions prior to the mediation

 

  • Seek to see the strengths and weaknesses of your own case. Be realistic in assessing your position. 

 

  • Try to understand.  Strive to analyze the arguments of the other party and contemplate how to address them. Are there solutions you can think of where all parties win?

 

  • Learn from the past but focus on the future. You cannot change the past, but you can learn from it. What do you know about your former spouse that will influence your decisions? How can you predict their behavior to foresee problems and challenges that may arise and how can those be addressed ahead of time in the mediation process?
  • Let go of emotion. This is one of the most difficult steps of mediation. A court case can never resolve the anger and hurt that is involved in most divorces, so expecting vindication is a barrier to an effective settlement. To the extent that you can view the case logically and impartially, this will help you understand and accept a result that may be in your best interest. 

CONSULT THE LAW OFFICE OF DAVID KNECHT

Mediation can be an emotional and challenging process, but it is an extremely important step in the divorce process where the right attorney can add tremendous value. At the Law Office of David Knecht, we have years of experience with divorce and specifically with divorce mediation. Call us today at 707-451-4502. 

 

What is Mediation for a Divorce Case?

This article will provide introductory information about the purpose of mediation, how it works and what to do to prepare for a divorce mediation with information derived from the California Court website.

What is divorce mediation?

  • It is a flexible dispute resolution process with an independent third party who helps to facilitate communication and solution-finding between parties to resolve their own dispute outside of the court system. 

Does the mediator take sides?

  • The mediator is intended to be a neutral party who does not take sides, make decisions, offer legal advice or reveal confidential information. 
  • However, an effective mediator may offer an opinion or share references to legal authority that may be on point for the question at hand. A mediator may provide context with information on how issues have been previously decided by the court.  

What if I have concerns about the process? 

  • If you have any concerns about the mediation process, you should raise those and make sure they are resolved to your satisfaction prior to proceeding. 
  • Some common concerns can include practical considerations like the billing rate of the mediator and your responsibility to pay, or legal concerns such as whether  a judge can make negative inferences against you if you do not settle or whether the information shared in mediation is confidential.
  • It is the mediator’s job to resolve any concerns that you may have prior to the process, and you should not be afraid to ask questions throughout the mediation process. 

 What are some best practices to ensure a successful mediation? 

  • Ask the mediator how to best utilize their services. The mediator often has experience and can guide you as to how to maximize their time and experience. 
  • Come ready to participate fully, honestly and courteously. 
  • Be willing to understand the other party’s arguments. This does not mean you need to agree with them, but understanding your opponent is a good step in finding out of the box solutions. 
  • Assess litigation costs and prospects realistically to yourself. You typically will not get everything you want in a mediation, so assessing the strengths and weaknesses of your case will help you focus on the wins that are most important to you. 

CONSULT THE LAW OFFICE OF DAVID KNECHT

There are many divorce lawyers, but not all family law attorneys have extensive experience. At the Law Office of David Knecht, we have years of experience with divorce and other family law issues. Additionally, we have a commitment to customize our approach to your specific needs and seek to understand your goals and help you achieve them. Call us at 707-451-4502. 

 

What are the Main Steps of a California Divorce?

This article will provide an overview of the divorce process with a summary of the information provided by the California Courts.

Getting a divorce in California takes at least six months. There are four main steps to getting divorced and they are the same whether you are married or in a domestic partnership. If you want a legal separation, the steps are the same, but there isn’t a required six month waiting period.

Start the divorce case.

  • One spouse files the papers and lets the other person know that the case has been started by serving the papers on that person.
  • Then the other spouse has a chance to file a response.

Share financial information.

  • The party that filed the papers must share financial information and the other party must also, if they are participating in the divorce process.
  • The documents are shared with the other party and then you file a form so that the judge knows you met this requirement.

Make decisions.  

  • You will need to decide how to divide property and debts, whether spousal support will be paid, and how to care for and support children (if appliable).
  • You can work together with your spouse to come to an agreement on these issues or you can ask the court to decide.

 Finalize the divorce. 

  • This last step involves filing a set of final paperwork. The court will review the forms to make sure that nothing is missing and there are not mistakes and the judge will sign the final form.
  • Visit this site for more information about finalizing a California divorce.

CONSULT THE LAW OFFICE OF DAVID KNECHT

If you need help with a divorce, contact the Law Office of David Knecht. Call us at 707-451-4502. We have extensive experience in family law and can help you feel confident and comfortable navigating a California divorce.

Property and Debt Division in a California Divorce

In a California divorce, even if the parties agree, a judge has to approve the division of property and debts through an order. You don’t necessarily have to go to court because a judge could approve an agreement between you and your spouse. If the parties don’t agree, the judge can make a determination for you at a hearing or a trial. Information in this article will help you better understand https://selfhelp.courts.ca.gov/divorce/property-debtsproperty and debt division in a California divorce with information sourced from online resources provided atx. 

 

  • What is property? 

 

  • Property has a formal definition, but in general it is anything that you can own, buy or sell. This includes real estate, bank accounts, life insurance, retirement and more. 

 

 

  • What are the categories of property and debts?

 

  • Community property is generally what you own together during your marriage and the debts that you owe together during your marriage. 

 

  • Separate property is generally what you each owned individually before you were married or after you separated and any gifts or inheritance or any debts you incurred before or after your marriage. 

 

 

  • Why is the date of separation important for categorizing assets and debts?

 

  • The date of separation is important because generally, from that day forward, what you or your spouse earned or loans that you take out are no longer community property. 

 

 

  •  What are the rules for the date of separation?

 

  • The separation date is the day that one of you let the other one know (by actions or words) that they wanted to end the marriage, provided that after that day, your or their actions were consistent with wanting the marriage to be over. 

 

 

  •  How can I tell if something is community property?
  • Generally, community property is anything you earned while married, anything you bought while married and debt that you incurred while married. 

 

Consult the Law Office of David Knecht

Property and debt division is one of the most important aspects of a divorce for most people. The information in this article is very general, but an experienced family law attorney can help you make your case to get the property to which you are entitled and fight to prevent your being saddled with debt that isn’t yours. Please contact us at the  Law Office of David Knecht. We have extensive experience with divorce and family law issues and can answer your questions. Call us at 707-451-4502.

 

Can I Sue My Ex for Defamation?

If you follow Hollywood news, you’ve probably heard a lot about the legal battle between Jonny Depp and Amber Heard. He is suing her for 50 million dollars for defamation for a 2018 op-ed piece in the Washington Post that alleged she was a “public figure representing domestic abuse.” She has counterclaimed for 100 million dollars, alleging that Depp and his former lawyer conspired to defame her by calling her allegations a hoax.  https://www.foxnews.com/entertainment/johnny-depp-may-lose-defamation-case-amber-heard-flops-stand-legal-experts-say

This article will provide an overview of defamation and California law to help explain how and when an ex can be sued for defamation. 

 

  •  What is defamation? 

 

  • Defamation is a broad term for statements that malign someone’s reputation. 
    • A statement made verbally is slander.  
    • A statement made in writing is libel.

 

  • What are the elements?

 

  • The statement must be false. A truthful statement, even if harmful, is not defamation. 
  • The statement must be presented as fact, not opinion, and be misleading intentionally, recklessly or negligently. 
  • It must be published, which means that someone besides you heard or read it. 
  • It must have actually hurt the reputation of the victim. 
  • It must have brought harm to the victim, such as a lost job or lost opportunity. 

 

  • Can statements made during my divorce trial or divorce settlement negotiations be defamation?

 

  • No, statements made during settlement negotiations would be made to your ex and their attorney, so they would almost never rise to the level of defamation. 
  • No, statements made during trial would not be defamatory because your purpose in going to trial is to tell the judge your side of the story. 

 

  •  Where can I find the laws relating to California defamation, i.e. libel and slander?

 

  • This is the link to the statute for slander: 

 

https://leginfo.legislature.ca.gov/faces/codes_displaySection.xhtml?sectionNum=46.&lawCode=CIV

 

Consult the Law Office of David Knecht

If you have questions about defamation and divorce or any family law question, please contact us at the  Law Office of David Knecht. We have extensive experience with divorce and family law issues and can answer your questions. Call us at 707-451-4502.

 

Overview of a California Divorce

If you are considering divorce, you may want a general overview of how the process works. This article will summarize the basic steps, with information derived from the California Court’s.

 

You get a divorce by initiating a court case. 

  • You don’t have to have a reason for wanting to get divorced or prove that anyone is at fault. California is a no fault divorce state where you can base the divorce solely on irreconcilable differences. 
  • You can get a divorce even if the other person doesn’t want one. 
  • If you’ve been married less than five years and have no children, you may qualify for an easier process called a summary dissolution. More information can be found here:  

 

California residency is required for a California divorce. 

  • You must have lived in California for the past 6 months.
  • You must have lived in your current California county for the past 3 months. 

 

Filing Fee.

  • You will have to pay a filing fee to initiate the divorce. 

 

 Service

 

  • You have to inform your spouse that papers have been filed. The formal way to do this is by service of process. 

 

Waiting period

 

  • There is a six month waiting period for the divorce to be final. 

 

 Information Sharing

 

  • You will have to share information with your spouse

 

 Familial and Financial Issue Resolution

  • You will either need to resolve child custody issues and financial issues with your spouse by agreement between the parties or through a decision by the court, which will be an order

 

CONTACT THE LAW OFFICE OF DAVID KNECHT FOR HELP WITH A CALIFORNIA DIVORCE

If you need help with a divorce in California, contact the  Law Office of David Knecht. We have extensive experience with family law in California including divorce, child custody, modifications and more. Contact us at 707-451-4502 for more information.  

 

Temporary Spousal Support in Solano County, California

An important issue in a divorce is temporary spousal or partner support. When one spouse files for divorce in California, either spouse/partner may request from the court an order for temporary spousal support.  This article will summarize important information published by the California Courts here, https://www.courts.ca.gov/1038.htm, which relates to temporary spousal support

  •  What is temporary spousal support?

Temporary spousal support is also commonly referred to as alimony. Before a divorce is final, upon the request of one of the parties, a judge may order that one spouse will pay money to the other spouse.

  •  What temporary spousal support formula is used in Solano County, California?

In Solano County, the courts use the “Santa Clara” formula, which comes from Rule 5.30, which can be found at the link below.  Some of the cities in Solano County include Benicia, Birds Landing, Dixon, Elmira, Fairfield, Rio Vista, Suisun City, Vacaville and Vallejo.

For more information about the rules applicable in Solano County, see this site: https://solano.courts.ca.gov/wp-content/uploads/2020/10/Solano_County_Local_Rules_Effective_2021-01-01_-_Rule_05.pdf

  •  How does the Santa Clara formula work for calculating temporary spousal support?

The support is generally calculated by taking 40% of the net income of the payor, minus 50% of the net income of the payee, adjusted for tax consequences. If there is a child support, temporary spousal or partner support is calculated on net income not allocated to child support and/or child-related expenses.

Resources for more information:

CONTACT THE LAW OFFICE OF DAVID KNECHT

If you are concerned about your ability to meet your daily expenses and need temporary spousal support or if you are the wage earner with questions about a potential request for temporary support, contact the  Law Office of David Knecht. We have extensive experience with divorce in California. Contact us at 707-451-4502 for more information.